Winter is coming; help me turn yarn into warmth

•No Name: “About two years ago, I made an appeal through this column for yarn. This yarn was used to make hundreds of winter hats for various charities. The guarantee is that none of these hats are ever sold. While we are at the end of this winter season, I will continue making hats in preparation for winter of 2017. Once again, I am asking for yarn. I hope that as we’re doing our spring cleaning, we’ll find something that will help with this worthy cause. Please phone me at (810) 385-1131. Thank you very much in advance.

•No Name: “I see the Kimball Township offices will be closed Friday, April 14, in observance of Good Friday, which is a holiday of no secular significance. Can government offices close to observe strictly religious holidays?”

•No Name: “On the heated storage for boats: Did you think that anybody would allow a man named Mr. Cain an IMS, International Modern School system, that is inclusive with atheism, pantheism, humanism, communism, all these isms under the sun, which is a technological advanced school which always fail because kids are inquisitive, did you ever think the city would say no to that? Just the fact that he’s going to raze 150 old trees growing on that beautiful property, you ever think they’d say no to that? You know why? Because this town really doesn’t care about its children, it’s just a free-for-all for anybody to throw their theology at these young people that just come out of the blue.”

Again, that electronic device on the pole near Crull school belongs to Verizon. It is used to manage cellular data. In Verizon’s case, IMS stands for IP Multimedia Subsystem. It doesn’t stand for the name of an English-language school in Cairo, Egypt.

•No Name: “To the limey about St. Patty’s Day: You can sit down and you can download Irish slavery. The Irish were the first slaves in the United States, going back to the 16th century.”

•Mrs. Leeter: “I wish to thank a member of the River Church for buying our coffee and donuts at Tim Horton’s yesterday. It was greatly appreciated and we will pay it forward.”

•No Name: “I was in town recently for services and it sure does show that they have cleaned up the city and the buildings are looking really good. Can you tell me what goes behind the filtration plant? It looks like all them fishermen live back there in tents while they’re fishing down there. They look like a family camping. Is there a place you rent to stay behind the filtration plant for a week?”

When it is cold and windy, the fishermen set up tents as windbreaks. Camping is prohibited.

•No Name: “Now that you mention smoking in front of the doorway, what’s with this smoking porch at the Blue Water Convention Center? That can’t be legal. I went to that horrible craft show there and there must have been 40 idiots out smoking on that balcony on the east side of the building. Tell me whose idea that was.”